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Sunday, October 31, 2010

Award

Tonight I feel I should give myself a big award. I was invited to Trick-or-Treat with Cami and her dad's family. I went and enjoyed myself. I like his wife and their kids are precious. I love seeing Cami as a sister. In our house, she is an only child. It was refreshing to watch her with her sisters.
I must say, I struggled emotionally this weekend and couldn't figure out why. I've been on a semi-health kick, my career is going well, I've been happy. But this weekend was difficult. I finally surmised that I'm not where I want to be as a family. I had an expectation that 1) I wouldn't get divorced, and 2) after I did divorce, I would remarry and have another child. Well, here I am, 8 years out of my divorce, no man in sight, and certainly another child is not in sight. I decided that what was making me sad this weekend was the fact that my vision of "family" wasn't spending the evening with my ex-husband, his wife, their kids, and my child.
Once I put my finger on my issue, all I could was make the best of it. It is what it is. I am who I am. I'm in control putting the right things in my body, I'm in control of how I raise my child, I'm in control of my happiness.
So again, I think I deserve an award. I taught my daughter tonight that family is important, regardless of "which" family she belongs to. We are all a family, although very nontraditional, a family nonetheless.

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